Pray, even when fighting against your faith

“God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.”

About a month ago, I posted about my struggles with the Western culture church, and how prevalent church hurt is in our society. Not only does church hurt affect your relationship with the church community, but unfortunately it also affects your relationship with God himself. At the same time that I started to really struggle with the church, God really made me question him with what was soon after thrown at me and my family.

A few days before Christmas, both my parents and grandparents were positive for COVID-19. They are all very healthy people with no underlying health concerns, so my sisters and I weren’t too worried, we were more just bummed we wouldn’t get to spend Christmas together. Yet, a few days later we had more than that to be bummed about. My mom had texted my sisters and I,

“I’m taking dad to the hospital.

Taking him to Marion in Santa Maria since they actually treat Covid there.

He was just having way too hard of a time breathing.’

We had never seen my dad sick. We had never seen him weak. We had never seen him as anything but our strong and healthy father. I, personally, was so confused, sad, but more than anything, mad. I had no idea why God would allow my dad, who is so faithful, to get so sick. My dad told my sisters and I, “no matter what the outcome, remember that God is still good.”

My faith had never been tested so fiercely. I remember feeling guilty when I was about to pray about my dad. I had been struggling with God and church for the whole month prior to my dad getting sick, and felt like I wasn’t worthy of praying and asking God for help, since I hadn’t given Him any time. Thankfully, my God-fearing boyfriend reminded me that, no matter what I have done or what I think, God always wants to hear from me.

That night I took my boyfriend’s advice and prayed when we got home. I prayed and I cried and I prayed some more… then cried a lot more. I was hopeless that my little prayer would do anything, and I had little faith in that moment. Yet, my sisters and I got great news the following day. My mom texted us,

“Dad is well suited at home, our nurse is awesome! A total God send!! She’s got Dad already feeling better. He will be on oxygen for a while but he will definity start to feel better. We feel very encouraged.”

Now 2 months later, my dad is healthy.

Thank you Jesus.

About a week ago, Russia invaded Ukraine, and with the technology we have today, this war and invasion is broadcasted for the whole world to see. Watching this happen to innocent civilians breaks my heart, and makes me feel worthless not being able to do anything about it. Yet, I have to remind myself that we are blessed with the greatest weapon of all, prayer. It sounds silly to hear people say “pray for Ukraine,” yet it is truly the only thing we can do right now.

Excuse my language, but even if you think it is bullshit, pray.

Even if you think God isn’t real, pray.

Even if you feel dumb talking to someone you can’t see, pray. What is there to lose?

If God turns out not to be real, you lose 5 seconds out of your whole life.

But on the other hand, if He is as powerful as he was in healing my dad, think of how many innocent people you can help by just saying a quick prayer.

Pray for Ukraine.

Pray for Ukraine.

Pray for Ukraine.

Signed Ems